Becoming Your Most Attractive Self
“Loneliness may be a curse to many but for a believer it’s a blessing.”
One of the best times to fall in love with ‘self’ and begin building a great relationship with yourself is when you're alone.
There came a time in my life after marriage where I wasn’t forced to or chose to but just happened to have a lot of time on hand. Since I was not working I treated myself with a long, much-awaited, desperately-required vacation.
This is the time when I discovered myself all over again.
We all need a time-off from the mundane lives we live to reconnect to ourselves. Not necessarily, going on a vacation, or quitting the job but just putting that extra time, we often label as ‘loneliness’, to productive use.
You can ask and answer the internal questions that will help you choose your relationship goals.
What do I need in a relationship?
What do I have to give to another person?
Where are my greatest strengths and biggest challenges?
Here are some most important tips to keep your sanity and self-esteem in check when you desperately require it.
Prevent criticizing. Begin Appreciating
All of us have an inner critic. It’s that nagging voice that focuses on the negative. That voice tells us we aren’t enough and focuses on our weaknesses. If you want to effectively resist external pressures, it’s crucial to start silencing this internal voice. You need to develop more positive “self-talk.”
So how do you turn your worst critic into your biggest cheerleader?
We all feel self-conscious about some part of ourselves. It’s natural. But keep in mind, how you handle these inevitable insecurities determine how others perceive you. A safe way to fight anxieties is to identify and actively affirm your personal strengths.
Start by taking stock of all the aspects of your physical and inner self that make you unique and remarkable.
With your list in hand, start letting go of the fact that you don’t look like a movie star or have that six figure salary. Find beauty in your individuality. Own who you are and what you are. Don’t apologize for your intelligence. Remember that what makes you who you are is ultimately what makes you stand out from the crowd.
Keep proclaiming this loud and clear every day,
“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalms 139:14
Stop making comparisons. Start Civilizing.
There is nothing more toxic than negative comparisons.
Remember you will never truly know the intimate realities of another person’s life. No other person shares your genetics, experiences, opportunities, tragedies, etc. Thus, measuring yourself by someone else’s standard is always a dangerous proposition.
There is only one ‘You’ in the entire world and that is what makes you stand out from others.
We are all created unique and special. God is the potter and we are the clay. He made us all perfect having our own uniqueness.
Instead of focusing outward, focus inward. You’ve looked at your strengths and started appreciating yourself more. Now honestly assess what you can improve about yourself.
I love trying this exercise as a positive way to begin approaching my personal growth. Hope it will help you as well.
Create three columns.
- Capture the things you do extraordinarily well
- List the things you feel are run of the mill or average in your life.
- In the third column, write down the things you think you aren’t good at.
Choose one thing from each column to devote more time to. This can be a simple approachable way to begin some healthy development.
At the end of the day, self-esteem is the key to win the game.
Above all, God loves you and believes in you so you can too.